gods as boy scout leaders
zeus: let's strike down entire cities using our lightning bolts
boys: but-
zeus: oh wait i forgot YOU aren't COOL ENOUGH to get lightning bolts beat that NERDS
-
ares: do u even lift bruh
boy: i am 8 years old
ares: yeah well i was doing 100 push-ups at age 4 so
-
hermes: ok so now you know how to successfully pick-pocket people. go out into the world, my children.
hermes: *notices his wallet is gone and tears up* i'm so proud
-
apollon: ready to become the next shakespeare
boy: shakespeare is gay
apollon: YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WAS GAY? MY BOYFRIEND. HE AND SHAKESPEARE ARE BOTH DEAD.
-
dionysus: so does anyone want to know how the first dildo was created
boys: UM
dionysus: so as i was tripping balls on my way to the underworld, along comes this guy and he's like-
-
hephaistos: okay now quickly lower the molten hot glass into the water
boy: *SCREAMS IN AGONY*
hephaistos: honestly how do you even fuck that up
-
hades: pet the puppy ok.
boy: but it has three heads
hades: *squints*
hades: i knew i didn't like you
hades: take him away thanatos